Bittersweet goodbyes

Written Monday, September 6, 2010

This past week I taught my last week of classes to my students at Dakawa. They were so happy to see me on Tuesday when I came to class since I’d been out the week before. I tried to pick up the pace from where we left off with word formation vocabulary and class went well.

On Wednesday morning my Field Director called Mrs. Mtima, the Headmistress of Dakawa, to tell her that I will be leaving the school. One of the girls in the WorldTeach Tanzania Program decided to go home early. She was living with another one of the volunteers, Becky, in Morogoro town and teaching at the Kilakala Girls’ Secondary School. Since she left, there’s now an opportunity for one of us at Dakawa to move to Morogoro to live with Becky. I decided to move because I’ve naturally become the third wheel among my two housemates and I. Instead of teaching at Kilakala, I’m expecting to teach at the Morogoro Secondary School. It will be quite different from Dakawa because it’s not a boarding school; it’s just a day school. I think the ability for my new students to see their families and live at home and just go to school during the day will really affect how I interact with them versus how I’ve been engaging with my students at Dakawa. Many of my students are really homesick a lot so they sought comfort in getting to know me at their teacher and talking to me about where they come from. I’m sure I’ll fair just fine with my new students and get to know they just as well, but I’m expecting to talk to them about different things because they’re still at home. Either way, I’m excited and ready for the transition.

I have loved Dakawa and my favorite part about it has been teaching my students, but I know I will be able to adjust well into my new placement. I still have yet to determine the details of what my teaching position there will look like, but I am hoping it will involve more teaching hours for me and offer me with more things to do than I was able to do at Dakawa. At Dakawa I’ve just been teaching English three times a week for 80-minute blocks and teaching beginner computer classes about twice a week. Nevertheless I am really going to miss Dakawa and I will especially miss my students. They have all been really sweet to me during the last month that I’ve gotten to know them.

When I told them I was transferring to Morogoro more than half the class started bawling and telling me not to go. Their second comment was, “Why you?” Ayayay it was rough trying to explain my situation to them. I nearly cried myself and I hardly ever cry! They’ve gotten really attached to me and I to them. Almost every class I’ve received notes from several of my students telling me how much they like me as a teacher and how I’m changing their lives by being here at Dakawa. They say they love me all the time, haha. Every time I read one of their notes I get confirmation that I’m making a positive impact on their lives and since that’s truly what I’m here for I couldn’t ask for anything better to receive from anyone in Tanzania. I will really miss getting to know them and seeing them three times a week, but I’ve promised them that I will visit as often as I can. They’re affected my life just as much as I believe I’ve impacted theirs so I’m not about to just disappear forever. Since I only live an hour away and I’m used to the hour plus bus ride from Morogoro town to Dakawa I think I can visit at least once a month, if not more.

In order to celebrate our time together I taught them a short lesson during our last class on Thursday last week and then used the rest of the class to have fun and just hang out with them. Ever since I became their teacher they’ve asked me to sing for them so I sang them about 4 songs during Thursday’s class to the music I’ve often brought in from my iPod. They loved that! They sang along to the songs they knew and got up to dance. They even had dance-offs with each other in front of the whole class while the music was playing. The other students on campus could hear how much fun we were having (we were all laughing and cheering), so many of them came to join our class to watch and participate. In addition, I brought my camera and snapped a ton of photos with my students and I together and I also took a lot of photos of them with each other. I’m planning to print them out and give them all copies of the photos they’re in. I also brought my tape recorder and offered to let them record anything on it for me. I haven’t listened to it yet but I’m curious and enthusiastic to hear what the students had to say. I bet I’ll laugh my head off when I listen to what they said! While I was going to end all of our fun at the end of our regular class time I decided to let the students listen to my music player until the next teacher arrived…but she never came so we ended up celebrating for the whole next class! It was well worth it though and in all honesty I’m glad I got the extra time with them. I was having just as much difficultly leaving the classroom as they were having to say goodbye to me. When I finally left class a lot of the students gave me letters they’d written expressing their sadness and wishing me well in my transition. Some of the students insisted that they carry my teaching bag to the English office on my way out the door. Overall the last day I taught I was overwhelmed with sadness and happiness all at the same time. It really was bittersweet, but it was the best version of a goodbye I could imagine so I’m really happy with how things ended. I even brought in American goodies for the class like cookies and Skittles for them to enjoy on our last day. Eish I’m going to miss my students but I definitely will visit and keep in touch. They have a break coming up this week that will last for the next month and I asked them to tell me where they’re be during the break and how I can reach them if they want me to try to see them if I’m around their area during the vac. I’ll most likely be in Morogoro, Dar, and I’m going to try to visit Arusha as well. A lot of my students live in those regions so I should be able to see some of them during the next month when we’re out of school. I’m really glad that they want to continue our contact just as much as I want to. I feels so good to know that I’ve had an everlasting impact on 40 students’ lives in only one-month’s time…I have 10 more months to look forward to and I can only imagine how my life will be impacted by my future students and vice versa. I’m so excited to find out in the coming months.

On Thursday night I left Dakawa to go to Morogoro to say goodbye to Tracy, the volunteer who’s leaving the Program. One of my housemates met us there as well as another one of the volunteers who teaches about 20 minutes outside of Morogoro. We all went to Dragonaires (a good pizza restaurant in Morogoro) and had a good time. I slept overnight at their house (slash my future house!) and on Friday morning I got to introduce myself to both of the volunteer’s classes so I could familiarize myself with some of the students I’ll be living amongst when I move there.

Afterwards Becky, Tracy, and I took a bus to Dar for the weekend to have a final goodbye dinner with Tracy before she left Tanzania for good. On Friday night we met up with two of her friends, went to dinner, and then went out to a club called “Maisha.” Because it was the last night Tracy would be in Dar, her two guy friends offered to pay for all three of us girls to go to the VIP lounge at the club. I’ve never been a VIP at a club before and even though the VIP service was really modest compared to some other places I’ve heard about, especially in the States, it was cool to just see what it was like. The club was mostly empty because a lot of normal club-goers are celebrating Ramadan currently and staying indoors on the weekends. It was nice not to have the club totally packed though because we were able to move around the dance floor more. Afterwards we all said our final goodbyes to Tracy and went back to the hotel and slept…we were all exhausted! I got to stay the night at the Hilton with Becky which was so nice and Western you would never even know you were in Tanzania while you’re inside of it! I think it’s the nicest hotel in all of Dar. It was amazing to take a hot shower for the first time in about two months there and the beds were so squishy and comfortable! Ah it was just amazing!

On Saturday Becky and I relaxed by the pool at the Hilton all day and even got to soak up some sun. Later on we met up with another volunteer, Duffie, who lives three hours south of Dar at her placement in Kibiti and we all had dinner together at a favorite place of ours called Thai Village. The food was really great and it was spectacular to catch up with Duffie finally since I hadn’t seen her since I moved to Dakawa 6 weeks ago. I met another one of my friends after dinner at the hotel and we went to a bar and hung out and relaxed for a few hours then decided to go to the Bilicanas club for about an hour after. It was another late night for me! I spent the night at my friend Roman’s mom’s (Mama Lemi) house in the center of town since it was just near the club we were at.

I woke up Sunday morning and hung out with Mama Lemi…she is still the sweetest lady ever. I rode a couple of local buses across Dar to meet up with Becky and Duffie for a late lunch. I ended up getting a little lost, but luckily a nice guy directed me to where I needed to go. Even when I get lost I like being by myself because then I really have to force myself to learn the routes myself. I think I’m going to try to get a map of Dar so that I can really put all the places I know there together in a sensible way so I’ll have an easier time of getting around in the future. After finally reaching Becky and Duffie we got lunch at Subway, which is a real luxury here. It’s the only American fast food chain I’ve seen anywhere in Tanzania. It does has its own African charm, though, e.i. there was only one type of bread, a few vegetables and dressings you could choose from, haha. Even so it was nice to get a sandwich. After we ate lunch I took a bus back to Morogoro. I got into Morogoro by the time it was dark and stayed at my future house in town. I cleaned up my new room and spent my first night there. It was really nice to get a taste of what my future life will be like here. I’m excited to move there soon. I’m especially thrilled to move in with Becky because I get along with her the best out of anyone here so I know we’ll have a great time living with each other. It’ll be nice to live with someone I can really talk to and whose company I enjoy and vice versa.

This week at Dakawa all of the Form Five students are taking their midterm exams so I’m not teaching at all. Instead I’m proctoring one exam per day for three hours. It’s funny to be on the proctoring side of testing rather than being someone who is actually taking the test. I have to say it felt good to be done with tests and such, at least for a little while, since I’m out of college now.

As time has gone on here I have had to think more about what I want to do after my time in Tanzania is finished. I was originally planning on extending my stay past June 2011 when I’m supposed to leave because I really enjoy Dar and I wanted to see if I could get a job and live there for a little while. On second thought, I’m not sure if that’s the greatest idea. For one, I really miss my family and friends back home so it’d be nice if I actually went back when I’m supposed to. I should also work hard on trying to find a good, well-paying job so that I can save up money so that when I’m in Africa again I won’t have to scrape by with such a little amount of money like I’ve had to do this trip. I can see myself working for a year or so back home in the U.S. somewhere, coming back to Africa to volunteer again or work, then going somewhere to continue my post-grad schooling in some Masters or PhD program. I still don’t know exactly what I want to do when I’m older for sure, but I have a good idea about my likes and dislikes at this point. I really like international development so I might want to get a degree in Development Studies. I also really like social justice and sociology so I might try to incorporate those topics into a future degree. I really like interacting with people and getting them excited about taking full advantage of the big world we live in by encouraging them to travel and engage with people from other cultures. Maybe I’ll be a travel journalist someday (kind of like now, haha) and enthuse other people to explore the world with my accounts of what I’ve seen through my own explorations. I could also see myself as a study abroad coordinator someday in which I have a home base somewhere in the world but I get to travel to different study abroad sites around the world before the students go to them. That way I could satisfy my love of traveling and exploring new cultures and places while also motivating other young people to take advantage of the opportunity to study abroad. We’ll see though! I could also see myself working for the U.N. or some NGO somewhere as well. Either way I just want to see the world and help people which you anyone can achieve in a ton of ways. I’m not in any rush to figure out what I want to do with my life, but I’m glad that I’ve started thinking about it. No matter what I end up doing when I’m older, I just want to love what I’m doing and be passionate about what my job accomplishes. I think everyone deserves to be happy with what they end up doing in their lives. I don’t just want to settle for some mediocre 9:00-5:00 desk job, I want to move around and shake things up a bit! The world is too incredible and vast than to stay sedimentary in one boring job for your whole life…